Self-care or self-sabotage?

But here’s the thing that kind of clicked for me recently. Handling my responsibilities IS self-care. Doing the hard thing IS self-care. It’s taking care of that future self. My present self hates it because it’s taxing, it’s tedious, and sometimes doing the right thing in the present moment doesn’t give present time results. But it’s necessary nonetheless. I often times feel the need to participate in certain “self-care” activities because I’m stressed about something that’s in my power to fix in that given moment OR because i’m refusing to face something that is causing me negative emotions.

Who do you choose to be?

I sometimes forget that who I want to become and what I hope to obtain for myself is possible. The only one standing in the way of me and the best version of me is me. I am my own stumbling block. I am my own thorn in my side. I have allowed who I am now to cloud who I have the potential to be.

Adults can cry in public too.

I am not 5. I should not be on the verge of tears every time there is a minor inconvenience in my life yet I am. But, oh, how I miss being 5 and having the ability to cry freely without any judgment. Children don’t realize how good they have it. They can burst into tears anywhere ranging from church to the grocery store to the parking lot to the train.

Table for one, please.

When I think of the woman that I want to be and the life that I want to live, I’ve always said peaceful. I’d been searching for a sense of peace and balance in my life for quite some time now. I’ve now established that due to some good decision making on my part (finally), and I’m pretty sure God decided to give me a clean slate, and a chance to prove myself over again in other areas of my life. But why am I fighting this peace now that it’s here? Why am I so against the quiet? Why is it when I finally get what I need, I have the desire to fill up my life with so much noise?